Unaccepted Love - Part 4

Rating : K+

Summary : just a boy who loves his bestfriend very much even he knew it wouldn't return 

Pairing : you will know
Review : Please do .... :) 

ENJOY and hope you like it

Previous Part : Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

 

Part 4

                But never like I wanted, him found out my feeling. He found out first before I had a chance to tell him. It happened when he found out some of my writings then everything was just blow up. It was a crazy line. I knew I shouldn’t write it down. But I wrote it after I figure out some songs who obviously talk about me. Describe my feeling. And I took it from our old song, from our first album. I never knew it described it. Then I read again, and yes it was about me. Me being thinking of him. Just listen up …

 

♫  Baby you’re so beautiful, and when I’m near you, I can’t breath

    A boy like you gets who he wants when he wants in. You so out of my league

   I so you no emotion Don’t let you see what you doin to me

   I imagine that two of us together, but I’ve been livin in reality.

 

   Fear of rejection. kept my love inside, but I don’t care if you think I’m crazy

   It doesn’t matter if you turn me out bad, I’ve got no fear if losin you

   No I’m gonna confess that I love you

   You can’t lose what you never had

  Now I;m gonna confess, that I love you, I’ll be give in you inside

   Feeling that I could die turn away, baby that’s ok

   At least let me a moment before you said goodbye

  You can’t lose what you never had

 

  Rules are made for breakin, nothing ventured, nothing gained

  I’ll be no-worse of then I’m right now

And I might never get a chance again

 

  Here on the out side looking in, don’t wanna stay dreamin about what could have been 

  I need to hear you speak my name, even you shoot me down in flames ♫

 

See, it all about me. It was written there. Fuck! And double fuck when after that I had a crazy dream a few months ago and made me write this few funny lines. How I dreamt of someone and I wouldn’t ever to show it to anybody. It was kind embarrassing and sounded dreamy land.

It heard like this …

 

♫  Late last night I had a dream
And it was then I seen him
Didn't need no diamond rings (well who say, he loves diamond!)
Fancy cars, Versace things to please him (and yes, he loves fancy car. He dreams about to have a porche and a ferari!)

He's my perfect man
I call him my imaginary lad

Every girl he passes by
Just can't deny that they would love to be with him

 

All the girl comparing sizes
Tucking shirts and fixing ties to please him

He's my perfect lad
Exclusive to my world
No you can't get him
He's my Imaginary lad
Shine on
Imaginary Lad
Shine on into this world
Join us
In our imagination
Help yourself believe in all you have him ♫

Fuck! It’s crazy isn’t!? But yes, it’s about him. I dreamt him, and inspired me to write some lines. And he found it. Damned!!

 

    “Mark this is a good lines. But why it’s write ‘him’?”

I stunned, and don’t know what to say.

He silent a moment, then realized something, “Mark… are you…?” he sounded carefully, to found out what the truth is coming.

I froze by looking at him.

    “You are gay aren’t you?” he’s more carefully, didn’t want to hurt me.

    “And you have problem with that?” I replied nervously.

    “What? Fuck no! I’ve no problem at all!” he smile widely. “Well, it’s shocked me. You know, we had known each other for years, you have been like my brother and I didn’t know about it.”

    “I never want anybody to know.”

He looked puzzled. “Why? Are you a shame?”

    “No, it’s just…, I don’t know, I feel not ready if anyone knows it.”

    “I bet your parents haven’t know about this, right?”

I shook, “No, but they will later. I’d tell him,” I felt unsure. Well I don’t know what my parents would react. Mum will had heart attack, and dad…, he will going mad, and belted me as well, being a sinner.

He looked me carefully, as he want to make sure what just he heard. Me being a gay. But he smiled, and looked back to the paper.

    “So who’s this? Who’s the ‘he’ you talk about?” he grinned teasing me.

‘You, Kian’ my heart wanted to say that. But No, no way. He shouldn’t know. Not now!

    “No, it’s nobody. You read it, it was my dream, it wasn’t real.”

    “But you are in love, right? I could tell from the way you write it. And that’s why you didn’t picked a girl out there? Right?” he grinned.

I shrugged, then silence. “Is that obvious?”

    “Yea!”

‘O, god. He knew it’

    “C’mon, Mark, you can tell me. We are brothers, right? We shared anything, especially the one we love,” he grinned.

    “So who this lucky guy? Is he hot, is he sexy?” with full excitement. That eyes so sparkling!

Damn, If h was not dating with a girl, I would believe Shian rumor! (Shian: Shane and Kian, double damned!)

I stay silence for a moment. Keep thinking. Well, maybe it’s time for him to know it. No matter how will he reacted.

    “You won’t mad if I tell who he is?”

    “Surely not!” with the grin face. “So who is he . I know him, right?” he’s getting more excited

I didn’t replied just looked at him.

    “Ok, if you don’t want to tell the name. So give me a clue!”

    “Ok. But please don’t mad if I tell it.”

    “Ok!”

I took a deep breath.

    “He’s blonde and he’s got the most beautiful blue eyes in the world… and a body to die for…“ I said and started to drift of to dreamland,

Kian started to think,

    “And he’s from where I came from,” with looked him more nervously.

And he paled.

    “It’s me, isn’t? You… love me?” his sound a bit shock.

    “I’m sorry, Kian,” I lowered my head, not to dare to see his angry face, facing The Famous Temperament Egan. “Go a head Kian, you can yell at me. Ask me to go.”

    “Why would I?” he smiled me to my surprise, “How could I’m mad to you for loving me?”

I raised my head. “You wouldn’t?”

    “Surely not!” he smiled. “Thanks Mark.”

I didn’t response, just looked him, his perfect baby blue eyes.

He took a deep breath.  “Well, that shocks me. I wouldn’t expect that. Do you really mean it?”

    “Yes. I’m in love with you.”

    “And since when you fancying me?”

    “From the first time I saw you.”

    “What? fuck off!” but he was laughing. “No you wouldn’t! I was bad to you, how could you like me?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know. I just like you.”

He just smiled. “And does it still now?” with cheeky face.

I groaned, “I used present words didn’t I? Course it’s still now. I still love you.”

It made him silence. I knew that.

    “Of course, Kian, I knew you wouldn’t feel the same. I know you, and you like them very much. I can take it.”

He managed to smile. “You know I always love you, I love you so much, but not in… that meaning. You know…?”

I just nodded. “Well, I don’t expect you will fell the same, I just saying what I feel.”

    “I know you do. And I’m so flattered you love me,” he gave me a sweetest smile. “I wish I could love you back.”

I just smiled. “It’s okay, you don’t have to.”

To my surprised, he gave me a kissed on my chick.

    “Thank you for loving me, Mark.”

I had to smile happily, and shrugged, “I just love you.”

He smiled again.

    “And please don’t tell anybody.”

    “Why?”

    “It such embarrassing.”

    “What, you love me? No. And I think lads wouldn’t bother too. They love you, and they appreciate you. They will accept it”

    “Who knows?” I felt not sure.

    “Believe me. They will accept you.”

I just smiled.

He took a deep breath. And looked back to the lines.

    “We could make this as a song.”

I stunned. “Naah…, it’s a crap.”

    “No, really. It’s good. We could make it, Marky.”

    “You thinks so?”

    “Sure it is, deutz!” he’s smiling. “I could make the music if you allowed me.”

    “I don’t know,” I shrugged.

But he smiled cheekily, “Want to give a try?”

I shrugged again, but minutes later, we both end up on the piano. I’m doing with the lyrics and he’s doing the music. It sounds good. He such a brilliant!

    “Mark, I think you should change ‘me’ with girl if you don’t want anybody to figure out.”

I think for a moment. “Yeah, you right. Thanks, Ki,” I grinned.

He just smile.

    “I think we should tell others about this song, mind you?”

    “I don’t know, I don’t think they would love it.”

    “Naah, believe me, Mark, they will. C’mon!”

    “Kian… thanks for so understand. Not yelled at me.”

He grinned, “Hey, you can’t help your feeling, and nobody can’t blame that, right?”

I smiled.

    “C’mon.”

I nodded and followed him walk out from this room. I know Kian was the easiest to talk with.

   

So that’s it, I had tell him, and I knew he wouldn’t feel the same. It didn’t broke my heart as he didn’t reject me, and let me to love him, even I know he would never ever loved me back. I could understand that. And I still love him anyway. And we made that song. Shane gave a hand for the second verse. So it us, Sligo boys made that. It’s ‘Imaginary Diva’ as we changed ‘Him’ with ‘Diva’. Shane didn’t know behind this song, but he loved it, and others too. We put it to our third album ‘World of Our Own.’ Great done, lads, thanks a bunch!

 

TBC

 

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Part 5