Rating : T
Pairing : Still Marki
Summary
: When a boy not as lucky as the other, he's trying to regain his
happiness, of course with his beloved family and friend helps.
Warning : Emotionaly wrecked
Previous Part : Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 Part7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Chapter 15, Part 16 , Part 17, Part 18, Part 19
Part
20 – Reunion
Nicky
was still frozen. The strange feeling rushed into his blood looking this young
man. His heart was beating so fast, couldn’t believe it. ‘But could it be?’ But that face, it was really him. He
wouldn’t forget his little face. He hasn’t change!’ He wasn't too tall but
had an amazing clear complexion, full lips, long eyelashes and the bluest eyes.
Nicky was like see his mother. He had really mam’s pretty face. It was really
him!
His eyes started to blur as he was sure about this
young man.
But Kian was different. He turned to pale as he saw
this big lad. He reminded him to ‘him’. Nicky was so likely ‘him’. Big body and
muscular, just like ‘him’! And that made Kian hesitate to take approached. The fear
was coming on him. He was not sure this was Nicky he had expected. But he was
Nicky!
I looked Kian who was still frozen and hesitated. I
shook his hand gently to push him approached. He looked me and I nodded,
“Nicky…?” finally he called him slowly.
“Ki…?”
With
that called, Kian burst into Nicky’s arms. He hugged his brother tightly.
He
swore, as he hugged his brother, he was sure this was Nicky he used to know. He
was not ‘him’. This was Nicky who used to hug him and comforted him. Kian was
so glad and cried on Nicky’s shoulder.
“You home, Kian,” Nicky even tight hugged
his little brother, like he would never go again.
“Yes, Nicky, I’m home.”
“I know you will come home, Kian, I know it,”
he kissed his brother head. He felt his own tears
Kian
just nodded in Nicky’s arm. How’s good to be on this arms. He had missed this
arm so much. He needed these arms to hug him. He needed Nicky so much!
“And you’re talking now?” Nicky giggled gladly.
“I thought I wouldn’t hear your voice again, Ki.”
Kian
had to smile in his cried, “There’s no one would stopped me to speak again.”
“Yes, I know, Kian,” he hugged him again,
never stopped kissing his head
Me
and Gina just stood not far from them with tears. They finally meet again after
12 years being separated
They
were hugging quite long, like would never let go.
Until
they broke the hug.
“Oh, this is my partner, Mark Williams,”
Kian introduced me. “He always accompanying me even took this home journey.”
I
shook Nicky’s big and strong hand. A typical of a labor hands.
“When were you arriving?”
“Yesterday. We were delayed by the storm.
But thankfully we could be here alive.”
Nicky
smiled full of glad. He looked his brother mesmerized. Kian was home!
Then
he turned on me,
“Thank you for accompanying my brother,
Sir,” with his Irish accent.
“I always am with him, Sir,” I smiled.
“Nicky would be fine.”
I
nodded politely.
“Alright, why don’t we celebrate this with
a special dinner!?” Georgina broke the tenses with cheerful. “I’ve made a special
dinner.”
“Of course, we have to celebrate this! Come!”
Nicky invited us for dinner.
We were dining with warm and full of
love. The devils of the past were forgotten. Kian felt so safe and comfort
being close with Nicky. Nicky who was always protect him, and did anything for
him.
After dinner, we had a chat. Surely
there so much they wanted to talk after 12 years didn’t see each other. Everything
they didn’t tell on letter. Me and Gina joined the chat like a family. Well, we
were family. And I could feel Kian was feeling home. He was home, back to Nicky.
“I have something for you, Nicky.”
Nicky
stunned, and smiled curiously
Kian
smiled at me and pulled out the book, then handed to Nicky
“What this?” Nicky took it.
“Your story?”
Nicky
bite his lips, especially as he saw the cover title, “Nicholas My Brother’ by
‘Kian Fiennes’ not ‘Key Sullivan’.
“Hopefully you didn’t mind I wrote down
about you. It’s one of my cures if I want to see you. I tell everything about
you, feel you where there and see you everywhere. It’s my private things. I
never attend to published it. I keep it for me and I will give to you.”
“Ki…” Nicky was speechless. He opened it,
and read it page by page. It was all about him.
“Everything I wanted to tell you the, is written
there.
“I hope you don’t mind and will accept it.”
Nicky
only could smiled emotionally, and hugged Kian tightly
“Thank
you, of course I will accept it. I will read and keep it well. Thank you.”
Nicky
broke the hug and looked back the book, see everything on Kian’s head and heart
that, everything I was afraid to tell and to showed.
“I have something for you too, Kian. Maybe
you have forgotten, but I keep it. It was left when you were leaving, and I
keep it for you,” he pulled out something from his coat, and handed to Kian. A
book.
Kian
almost couldn’t believe. “This book?” he read the title, ‘Oliver Twist’. “Mark ?”
I
only smiled with disbelieve too.
“I’m sorry, it doesn’t look well anymore.
But he saved with me.”
Kian
nearly cried. He found his book back. The first book he had ever had with his
own money.
“Thank you for keeping it, Nicky, I thought
I have lost it.”
“Nicky never leave it, Kian,” Gina spoke
for Nicky. “He always takes it wherever he goes, and that’s the only book he
would read it for Little Kian every night.”
Kian
even couldn’t believe it. He never thought Nicky will keep it and take care if
it for him. “Thank you, Nicky.”
Nicky
just smiled.
We
were talked until Gina excused herself for accompanying Little Kian sleep, and
I think I should excused myself too, and
let the brother alone. They were still missed each other, and I wouldn’t
disturb them. So I went to upstairs
where Gina had showed us where we could sleep.
And
I swear to God, it shivered me as I was on this attic. This was Kian and Nicky’s
bed room. Well maybe it doesn’t same again as Gina had changed the bunk with
the nicely simple bed. But the air was still there. The air of agony. Where
Kian laid with his painful sleep, carrying the wounds.
I
took a deep breath and lay on this bed. And yes, it sucked my breath. I
couldn’t breathe as I could feel Kian’s agony, cried on his sleep. The pain was
too much, but he never dare to let the whimper out, and he was sleep in fear as
‘He’ would called him for another beating before the old wounds healed.
‘Oh, God, I could feel his
pain. I could feel his agony, I could feel his misery and I could feel his desperate
never knew when wills this over,’ I cried
myself. But yet I could feel Nicky’s love. He was hugging Kian and comforting
Kian. Held him close, took the pain away.
I
took a deep breath, then tried to sleep my self.
*
“Why you left me, Nicky? Why you were
leaving me alone with that family?”
“Because I want a better life for you,
could saving you from ‘him’.”
“But why didn’t you come?”
“I don’t want to be a burden for them. They
were too kind, I couldn’t take another kindness. But I knew they could safe
you. You are the only mater for me Ki. So I have to let you go.”
“But don’t you know how hard my life
without you? You were leaving me with a family I never knew before. I didn’t
know them.”
“But they love you, Kian”
“No, the only love I know was from you.
Even they love me very much, and taking care of me like their own child, I
still need your love. And that’s hurt me when you left me!”
“I’m sorry, Kian, I just think the best you
could ever have. With them, Kian.”
“But why you stopped sending me letter?”
“Because I don’t want to disturb you. Your
life have going so well. You have become great writer, well educated lad,
having a great family, you don’t need me anymore. And I don’t mind if you have to
forgetting me."
“Fool you! How could you think of that!?
Don’t you know how sad I am you didn’t replay my letter? I thought you have forgot
me, I thought you don’t love me anymore, Nicky, and never expected me to come
home.”
“No, Kian, I would never stop loving you. I
always love you.”
“But you were stopping your letter. That’s
why I insisted to go home. I want to see you.”
Nicky
only could smile. “I’m sorry. At that time I was only thinking to letting you
go. You have so out of my Leigh. I couldn’t reach you.”
“Nicky, I’m still your brother. I still
need your love,” he held his brother hands.
Nicky
nodded, and felt guilty. He never thought Kian would hurt with what he did.
Guess, he would never lose Kian. Kian will always be his little brother.
He
took his deep breath as held his brother hands tightly. And he felt Kian’s
hands were so rough. He opened them and saw the scars. He moved to see Kian’s
wrist, and they had scars too. His heart sunk.
“They would never go. They will always
there. As also my scars over my body, it wouldn’t go away.”
Nicky
even hurt.
“I accepted it, Nicky,” Kian with open
heart.
“Don’t you hate ‘him’?” Nicky didn’t
understand.
“Hate? I don’t know, I never felt that. I
believed I deserved it.”
“Why do you think like that?”
“Because I made mam died. She died because
of me. That’s why ‘he’ blamed me.”
“No, Kian, it wasn’t your fault.”
“But ‘he’ kept saying that. ‘He’ was so
hate me.”
“That’s because you have mam’s face. ‘He’ loved
her very much, and ‘he’ couldn’t take it. ‘He’ just missed her. I know ‘he’
shouldn’t do that. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that. You did nothing
wrong. ‘He’ just couldn’t take of missing her. That’s all. And I hate myself
for that.”
“I hate I couldn’t stopped ‘him’, couldn’t protect
you, and ‘he’ didn’t want to change to be a father I used to know.”
“So that why you didn’t tell me when ‘he’
passed away?”
Nicky
had to nod. “I just didn’t want you to
remind ‘him’ again. You were just started your new life with that family, and I
didn’t want to open that wounds again. And I’m so glad when ‘he’ finally dead.”
Kian
went pale, “’He’ took everything on you after I‘m gone?”
Nicky
had to nod. “But it wasn’t a matter for me. I couldn’t see ‘his’ face. Every
time I saw ‘him’, I saw you too. I saw how ‘he’ treated you. It was hurt me.
And I couldn’t take it anymore. Yes, I was glad when ‘he’ finally dead.”
“What happened to him?”
“Alcohol, Kian. ‘He’ drank too much, and
that murdered ‘him’.”
Kian
bit his lips, didn’t know what to say.
“I’m sorry, Kian, I’m sorry for everything
you have been trough, for my weakness” Nicky couldn’t hold his tears “I
couldn’t stop what ‘he’s’ done to you. I wasn’t strong enough to stop ‘him’.”
“No, Nicky, you did the best you could, and
I felt so safe with you. All the pain was eased by you on my side and hugged
me. You made my pain lessen, Nicky.”
“Kian…,” he pulled his brother to his arms
and hugged him tightly. “I wished I could stop ‘him’, I wished he never hate
you… I wished… I never left you, Ki. It’s too hard to carry this feeling. I
missed you so much,” the hug even tighter.
Kian
didn’t have to answer that. He just let his brother hugged him even tighter, to
feel that Nicky was there for him, to feel that Nicky still loving him. It’s
all the matter for him. And now he could sleep peacefully, in Nicky’s arms.
Nicky
let Kian slept on his lap. He enjoyed how he could hug and protected Kian. His
beloved brother had come back to him.
*
I
opened up my eyes. Tears fell from my eyes. I wasn’t sleep, I heard all they
said. I could feel their love. I could feel Kian’s love for Nicky. It was
bigger than for me, and I felt so desperate. Could I be stand at this position?
Being the second person on Kian’s heart? Was there still a room for me if Kian
had Nicky now? But I should have known it. Kian would never love me like he
loved Nicky. Nicky was the first thing on Kian’s life, and I have to accepted
that. I have promised myself, that I would take any position on Kian’s hearts
even if that had to be the second person. I loved him dearly, and being with
him was the first thing on my life.
I sighed myself,
“Hope you still have room for me, Kian,” and tried back to sleep.
TBC
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